Happy Valentines Day!
Or at least I hope it’s going well enough for everybody who reads this. I know some folks will be depressed this year because they don’t have a valentine and they will feel like the whole world is laughing at them but they couldn’t be farther from the truth. All of us single people out there need to take a step back and remember that today’s holiday is for lovers, and while you may feel you are being judged, most folks celebrating today are too enraptured and enthralled with whomever they are spending it with to really give a flip about your sorry single problems.
That’s okay though. Because we have each other and that is what matters.
That’s what I kept telling myself this morning while I was crying into my cornflakes. All of us single people approach this day differently. Some of us begin fretting about it weeks in advance and along the way we become so miserable and make others around us so miserable that it’s best to just be locked away into an asylum so we can eat grapes off the wall paper. Others will play it cool and pretend to ignore the holiday, say things like “it’s just a day gift card companies invented,” and talk boldly of a life spent without love until the day finally arrives than an outpouring of emotion takes over and we don’t leave our beds until sometime around noon on the fifteenth. And still others approach their singleness on the day of relationships with grace and poise and shed nary a tear in remembrance of a lost lover or the self-imposed emotional solitude. Which when you stop and think about it that’s what being single is.
Ya’ll I am what I call chronically single. I profess that there are no women around the world interested in me because I am rather bookish, look like a slightly pudgy keibler elf, and I am losing my hair. That’s not entirely true though. I could date lots of women. And a few of them would even have all their teeth; the sleeves on the ’81 .38 Special World Tour t-shirt is still optional. But I choose to pursue a woman who will meet my needs and whose needs I can fulfill.
There are very few of my single friends that I know who have something so repugnant and fabulously wrong with them that it drives away members of the opposite sex (or same sex if that is your persuasion). Most of us choose this life because we haven’t found “The One” yet.
Which brings us to the most mystical of all the mystical beast. “The One.” I feel like when I type that it should be accompanied by the theme song from The Lion King. Most of us hear about such a thing as “The One” when we are children. We spend our lives looking for it. Then, suddenly, we find it! We fall madly in love. We tell it things like “baby, you’re face is more lovely than all the diamonds in the world and when you open your mouth the sounds are reminiscent of the Heavenly Angelic Choir.” And then we find out that while they may be our “The One” they have had another “The One” before us!
But it’s okay! That is of course until that good for nothing, cheating, lying, piece of crap douche weed decides that we are not “The One” for them.
How could they! We had planned it out so well. We waited till the three month mark to say I love you for the first time and didn’t even bring up the wedding ring we already had on layaway at Big Lots until month six.
Then a few months later you see “The Former One” with some other person who either has ugly shoes, less hair, is fat, or their eyes are too close together. Yet just by looking at them you know they are a demon in the sack, suspect “The Former One” of running around, and go back to lamenting and commiserating with your friends over how you will never find your one true “The One.”
Fact is most of us really do already have “The One” in our lives. For some of us it’s our work. For others it’s themselves. For the more religious of you perhaps it’s your faith. I consider myself slightly creative so for me it is my artistic work and creative outputs.
And because we already have that thing in our lives it means we aren’t in the right place to have a person replace it. Life has a funny way of giving us what we need when we need it. We just have to be patient and realize that sometimes our selfish desires are short-sighted and we should be building a life that is sustainable in the long run instead of one that is enjoyable for a few moments and then regrettable for at least a couple of hours.
So for all my single friends out there Happy Valentines Day! This day is a celebration of love so spend it celebrating the things you love most. Whether it’s a football team, a tv show, or your pet dog you can’t go wrong. It’s the season of love and we should all be thankful for the loved ones in our lives.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to drink two very nice boxes of wine to numb the pain in my heart.
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